July

Remember how I promised to do progression pictures? And a monthly drawing or painting? Remember how I didn't?

June

This is all I've got. Remember Mr. Mast's scrapbook? Ok. I'm about to pull a bunch of BS to make up for missing my monthly creative project for June. A picture is worth 1,000 words. Mr. Mast's thing was at least 1,000 words. Ergo, that was my project. Also, these.

These were for my friends as parting/graduation gifts.
Tori(flower), Dawn(Ocean), Tanya(Monkey), Emily(Night sky), Nadine(Hummingbird), Becky(Cat), Melissa (Vegas Skyline), Aurora(Mountains).

Ok, but for July, I actually did it. (Well, not really. I started it during school, and just barely had the commitment to finish it.)

Remember Pointillism? This is it. In drawing form. With a fine tip sharpie marker.
A Sharpie marker, you say? Yes. My mom thought it might be some kind of "fancy art pen" but no, sharpie works great. It smells funny afterwords, but there we go.

Oh ya. And it's Frank Sinatra. 

And sometimes he kind-of looks like the Devil....

Yes yes yes. And all anyone could say is that his nose-shadow is ridiculous.

Let's give him a hand...

The black is SOOOOO boring to do! I elicited help and used a sharpie with a bigger tip. And it STILL took forever.

The actual photo...

What you mean to say

I hear the words behind what you say, 

your eyes tell a different story.

The edge in your voice gives something away

your face is a mask of worry.

Why do you feel the need to hide,

why must you act this way?

Don't you know that I'm on your side?

I can see what you mean to say.

Faithful as a Fangirl

Sometime I worry that I'll never be able to care for REAL people the way I obsess over characters. 

Then I remember staying up until 2 am on the last day of school to finish special gifts for my friends (miniature paintings) and favorite teacher (memory book with letters of appreciation collected from classmates). 

I remember when both of my sisterly role models entered serious relationships within days of each other. I prayed for them every night for months.

 "Please, don't let him break her heart." 

Yes. I obsess over fictional characters. 

I cried shamelessly when Amy and Rory left the Doctor. I teared up in the Vincent VanGough episode. It bugs me that Arther never appreciates Merlin for how loyal he is, and how he doesn't even know the half of it. I wrote full pages examining the relationships between NUMB3RS characters to fill pages for my Sophomore English Journal... from memory. I have a tendancy to yell at The screen:

"I WILL LOVE YOU!!!!!"

 "NOOOO!!!"

"Just give him a hug!!!!" Everybody needs a hug sometimes... and TV characters never get them enough.

"Just SAY IT!!!"

*pteredactyl squeal* 

*groan*

"GAHHHRR!"

"Awwww..."

"Take it back, TAKE IT BACK!!!"

Etc, etc

These characters composed by some distant author/screenwriter's hand and brought to life by gifted actors don't replace what I feel for the real people in my life. I love a little differently. 

I love people. I love them sort of like a fictional character, but more. 

I'm faithful as a fangirl. I listen, and I remember. I watch, and I learn. I follow their lives like a plot-line. Supporting in whatever way I can. I'm attached, involved, and opinionated. It's nice to talk to people, and more effective than yelling at the Tv screen. Calm on the surface... dying inside. I'm frequently taken over by "the feels." I root for relationships and feel the double- blow of a break-up. I'm the relationship professional... in a strictly observational capacity. 

Strange as it is, it makes sense for me to love this way. 

After all, isn't God like a director or screenwriter? He is the architect of our future and author of our characters. He is more "vested in" our individual story lines than we can possibly realize. But it helps to know that every bump in the road -every plot twist that weighs on our hearts- strengthens our characters and gives us the chance to become worthy of the happiest of endings he can write.

Fire, light, and ice

A terrible kind of beautiful

Distant mountains of familiar face look foreign to my eyes.

The smokey air blurs it all, and adds to the disguise. 

Fire on the mountain.

Smoke invading half the sky,

Bubbling over like a fountain,

Higher still, the flames will fly.

The sun itself is red as blood, and casts an orange glow

On people of the city that are watching from below.

We see the smoke meld with the clouds, we taste it in the air.

We worry about the homes, the trees, and people still up there.

We watch the colors on the mountain and pray with all our might.

But there is no denying that it's such a pretty sight! 

-Alayna Een

First Fig

My candle burns at both ends;

It will not last the night;

But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends—

It gives a lovely light!

  -Edna St. Vincent Millay

Fire and Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I've tasted of desire

I hold with those who favor fire.

But if it had to perish twice,

I think I know enough of hate

To say that for destruction ice

Is also great

And would suffice. 

-Robert Frost

Eliza Dear

This blog post isn't going to be about me....
So, naturally, I have no idea how to start it.

Happy 16th Birthday Eliza.

(What? I'm cheap! Instead of getting you a nice tangible object for your birthday... you get this. I did the same thing for Aria, you did the same thing for me-which was adorable- and now it's a thing. So here is yours.)

And... that's all I've got.

But a picture is worth a thousand words, and Eliza deserves more than that.

So, dear sister.

Thanks for being adventurous with me. I know I push you into things sometimes, but there are just some things that you can't do alone.

So thanks for that.

Thanks for being strong and dedicated, in so many ways.

Thanks for making funny faces. And letting me glare, but not really mean it.

Thanks for being a kid with me.

... and for growing up with me.

Thanks for laughing at all the right moments

Thanks for caring. 

Thanks for making food.... and eating it, too.That's probably something I'll miss the most.

Thanks for always being next to me, and sharing in my daily adventures.

Thanks for being part of the glue that makes us a great family.

Thanks for dressing up with me.

For being my built-in best friend.

For putting up with me and my adorable quirks. 

You're going to miss me when I'm gone ...at college.

But I think I'll miss you more.

Who will I watch Merlin with? 

Who will roll their eyes at my Disney/Fandom/Movie references?

Who will understand me like you do?

I can't quite keep my mouth shut during movies, and you are the only person I could share all of my insights and jokes with.

I'm going to have to start making my own food... which terrifies me more than you know.

I can feel better just by seeing you.

I'm not excited about  leaving home. About leaving you to be the oldest and dealing with David and Melissa.

But I AM excited to see how you grow. 

You don't have to worry about filling my ridiculously large shoes.

They aren't really your style. 

Choose your own shoes.

Step out of our shadows.

It's your time to shine.

You is kind, you is smart, you is impotant. 

You are beautiful, you are strong, you are loving.

Whatever comes next, I can help in my own way, but as you take this first step into the world of responsibility, I'm anxious to see who you become.

But because I know and love you, I'm not worried. 

I think we both know that, what ever comes your way....

Half

Half-way through the year!!!!
SO.... how am I doing at my resolutions?


1. Get back in the habit of journaling, at least once a week.
Back on track. Booyah!
2. Set aside time at least twice a week to study for AP tests and apply for scholarships (as long as applicable)
Twice a week? No. But I did work heavily on certain days. And seeing how I got 3 school memorial scholarships, I'd say I've done pretty well. And Eliza can attest to my dedication to the AP tests... we didn't have fun while I was studying... and I studied for a week straight.
3. Do some of the things I keep saying that I'm going to. (Gee Alayna, could you be a little more vague?) Triskadecaphobia T-shirt(no go), the book for Mr. Mast (checked and double checked. And awesome), stuff for NHS (Yes), Color run (That was fun), LOTR marathon (More or less, you sneeky little hobbitses), Sadies (Haha), Prom (More or less),  etc.

4. Practice more often (also vague, but there you go)
On again, off again
( Here is where I would say that I will work out more... if indeed I intended to commit myself to such a resolution. I don't)
Swim season
5. Cook at least one meal a week with minimal help.
Haha. I don't think I've done that at all. This month, then.
6. Get to sleep earlier so I don't sleep during Math.
On again, off again
8. Learn how to count.
;)
9. Get more hours at work during summer, at least 30.
Supplementing my crappy work schedule with private swim lessons.
10. Keep in touch with friends as we move away.
Bugging Emily .... check
11. Get my Drivers License. Really. And improve on my navigation skills... or get really good at using Google Maps.
Haha. I don't even know where to start anymore. Let's move on.
12. Find out how to use my ipod touch. iTunes, FaceTime, all that jazz.
I learned how to imessage today... I'm getting there. And using it pretty heavily for in-depth scripture study, which is awesome.
13. Have FUN and do well in Swim Team this year. And I want to be Captain.
We didn't HAVE captains... which was a thorn in my side, but it was a lot more fun this year.
14. Graduate in White, get the Medallion, get the NHS cord, and be Salutatorian.
Check, check, check, and check. Thank you very much.
15. Get A's in all my classes and pass (hopefully with 4s) my AP tests.
5 on Government, 4 on English, 4 on Stats, 3 on Bio. Everything I needed. Not quite what I wanted.
16. Write more often. Something every week (journal doesn't count) oops. A poem, a story, descriptive essay, something. With a year-end goal of two fully written stories. (Some of the ones that have been kicking around in my head for the past forever.)
Every week. Some more impressive than others. No progress on stories.
17. Do "Artistic Progressions." (You'll see what I mean) Take pictures along the way, as I spend time doing a really good picture. At least one a month, to be worked on throughout the month. (CAN include schoolwork)
About half and half.
18. Get my stinking braces off. Enough is enough. It's Senior year. I want them off before I graduate.
Check. Thanks mom.
19. Make new friends (necessary!), but keep the old. (One is silver and the other gold)
Acquaintances. I still do stuff with old friends.
20. Go on at least one date... it can't be that hard....
Aha! My cousin lined me up with his best friend last week... so check.
21. Keep up with my blog.
;)
22. Help my neighbor write her personal history over the summer.
Forgot about that one.
 23. Do the best I can with whatever comes my way, but don't freak out about thinks that I have no control over.
Cryptic much?
24. Go to the Temple at least 13 times this year.
Haven't counted much.
25. Be more kind. Be more tolerant. Be more certain. Be myself... but better.
Yes?


It's funny how you can outright fail at keeping up a resolution... but still make progress. I guess that's why I have so many. It's the progress that counts.

Writing

I wrote a synchro routine today, out of absolute necessity. And I'm counting it out of pure laziness.