Invaluable, Perfect, Loved

You are not infallible, but you are invaluable.

You are not perfect, but you are priceless.

You are not lost, and you are loved beyond measure.

The paradox of man is that without God, we are nothing.

But to God... we are everything.

To Him we are (as Emma Woodhouse) faultless in spite of our faults.

We are His children. We are His work and His glory.

We are the dust of the earth... and the salt of it.

We are prodigal and chosen.

We are worth more than we can ever know.

More than many sparrows, far above rubies, more than the life of the only begotten son.

 We have heard all of this before.
Isn't it about time we started believing it?

Loosley 'Liza

October

Apply water-color paint. Splatter by blowing through a straw.
Don't pass out.

Continue. Let colors mix, and allow for size variety.

Fill paper. (This is the "Loose" Element. Disorganized, chaotic and such.)

This the photo-shopped picture of Eliza that I had printed. It was much smaller than I had envisioned, so I will end up cropping the paper... which made my teacher kind-of sad.

You may not be able to tell, but this is a pen tracing of the black graphic. Since there are no tracing tables (light tables) in the HFAC for general use, I held it up to a window. I now have astounding arm strength.

Black paint over the pen. It isn't a perfect transfer, but it isn't half bad either.

Aaannnnddddd.... it's done.
And I think I like it.

This is Halloween

Have you ever had a fright, or danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
Are you the type with a terrible shriek, does terror leave you unable to speak?
Looking constantly at what's behind, you're never sure just what you'll find
Lights turned off in the dead of night, does the darkness hide an unpleasant sight?
Or do you stay up, without fail, to listen to some spooky tale?
Witches, broomsticks, cauldrons, spells, an endless supply of stories to tell.
Each child holds a secret fear that a monster might be creeping near.
Eeeks and screams will fill the air, and some little trickster a grin will bear.
Now endless mischief will be seen because, of course, it's HALLOWEEN!

3/4 2013

The year is 3/4 over.
SO.... how am I doing at my resolutions?


1. Get back in the habit of journaling, at least once a week.
Back on track. Booyah! Maybe less thorough, but better.
2. Set aside time at least twice a week to study for AP tests and apply for scholarships (as long as applicable)
Twice a week? No. But I did work heavily on certain days. And seeing how I got 3 school memorial scholarships, I'd say I've done pretty well. And Eliza can attest to my dedication to the AP tests... we didn't have fun while I was studying... and I studied for a week straight. I got all of the scores that I needed, but not always quite what I wanted. Still, 30 college credits...
3. Do some of the things I keep saying that I'm going to. (Gee Alayna, could you be a little more vague?) Triskadecaphobia T-shirt(no go), the book for Mr. Mast (checked and double checked. And awesome), stuff for NHS (Yes), Color run (That was fun), LOTR marathon (More or less, you sneeky little hobbitses), Sadies (Haha), Prom (More or less),  etc.

4. Practice more often (also vague, but there you go)
On again, off again. I haven't used the piano in the basement of my dorm yet. I'll work on that.
( Here is where I would say that I will work out more... if indeed I intended to commit myself to such a resolution. I don't)
Swim season... is over. But I did sit-ups the other morning... progress.
5. Cook at least one meal a week with minimal help.
I don't get help anymore. I cook every meal. To varying degrees of success. I haven't done anything really major yet, but I did make some pretty good calzones the other day.
.6. Get to sleep earlier so I don't sleep during Math.
Sleep earlier. Ha. Hahaha. I'm up WAY later than I ever was in High School/
8. Learn how to count.
;)
9. Get more hours at work during summer, at least 30.
Supplementing my crappy work schedule with private swim lessons. Not working at the present time, but might try for nest semester.
10. Keep in touch with friends as we move away.
I hang out with my roommates a LOT. Skype with Melissa every Thursday and my family fairly frequently. Other than that, I'm not good at keeping in touch. I haven't even seen Emily in the past week and a half, and she lives in the building behind mine.
11. Get my Drivers License. Really. And improve on my navigation skills... or get really good at using Google Maps.
Thank you, Kathy. Using her mom's ridiculously nice and well maneuvering car, I passed the Drivers test (by ONE point) and got my licence in the mail while at college.
12. Find out how to use my ipod touch. iTunes, FaceTime, all that jazz.
Scripture study to the max. No Facetime yet. iTunes is getting there.
13. Have FUN and do well in Swim Team this year. And I want to be Captain.
We didn't HAVE captains... which was a thorn in my side, but it was a lot more fun this year. But you can see all my stats by googling my name, which is freaky.
14. Graduate in White, get the Medallion, get the NHS cord, and be Salutatorian.
Check, check, check, and check. Thank you very much.
15. Get A's in all my classes and pass (hopefully with 4s) my AP tests.
5 on Government, 4 on English, 4 on Stats, 3 on Bio. Everything I needed. Not quite what I wanted.
16. Write more often. Something every week (journal doesn't count) oops. A poem, a story, descriptive essay, something. With a year-end goal of two fully written stories. (Some of the ones that have been kicking around in my head for the past forever.)
Every week. Some more impressive than others. November is National Novel Writing month. I'm going to do it. 50,000 words, bring it on.
17. Do "Artistic Progressions." (You'll see what I mean) Take pictures along the way, as I spend time doing a really good picture. At least one a month, to be worked on throughout the month. (CAN include schoolwork)
About half and half. I'm getting there.
18. Get my stinking braces off. Enough is enough. It's Senior year. I want them off before I graduate.
Check. Thanks mom. But this retainer is getting annoying, and I wish I didn't have to wear it ALL THE TIME.
19. Make new friends (necessary!), but keep the old. (One is silver and the other gold)
Roommates are great. I talk to people sometimes. 
20. Go on at least one date... it can't be that hard....
I went on one this year. Four total. Girls outnumber guys in my ward 3-1, so I don't think there's much of a chance, despite what Jono thinks.
21. Keep up with my blog.
;)
22. Help my neighbor write her personal history over the summer.
Forgot about that one.
 23. Do the best I can with whatever comes my way, but don't freak out about thinks that I have no control over.
Cryptic much?
24. Go to the Temple at least 13 times this year.
Haven't counted much. I need to do it more while I'm here.
25. Be more kind. Be more tolerant. Be more certain. Be myself... but better.
Yes?


None too shabby, none too shabby.

Fun Fact

I end up sounding like a whiny teenager in most of my prayers

Help me with this project. Help me to sleep well. Help me to get better, help me to do well, help me to get this done, help me to understand... help me to remember....

help me

help me

help me.

My realization of this fact, coupled with my new calling as part of the compassionate service committee, has made me change my prayers a little bit. 

Oh, I still ask for a LOT. 

But I make sure to ask God to lead me to someone I can help.

In the past 2 weeks, I've had 7 different people ask me how to get somewhere on campus.

I know that this is an answer to prayer because no one in their right minds would actually ask me for directions... I'm no good at that.

And yet, I haven't led anyone astray.

 "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

(Ether 12:27)

So that's cool.

Wish you were here.

Increase in internet presence.

Physical presence fades away.

People you meet are familiar to you because of Facebook. Not the other way around.

We chat for hours at a time online. But can't exchange a dozen words when we meet in real life.

The teacher takes roll. He sees you sitting in the at the desk and says that you are "here." But with a simple keystroke or swipe, you aren't really. Physically, yes. Mentally? Spiritually? No. You are off in Cyberspace.

No more making memories. We make tweets and instagrams.
Apples, Apples everywhere but not a bite to eat.

I sat with my home evening group. No one spoke, they just played with devices (texting and what-not). I watched them. No one noticed. A long time passed. But we just sat in silence. Necks bent over, only thumbs moving.

You build relationships on line. Would you even recognize that person if you saw them on the street? I didn't.

You gather friends and followers click by click. No one really knows you.

Soon all they know about you is the way you type. How you capitalize and punctuate. You become what you like, post, and follow. They know less and less of the real you.

You only go out to have a picture to post, a funny comment to say, and soon even you live your life virtually.

Internet interactions overshadow everything else.

Soon every tangible thing fades.

and whoever you once were fades away.

You fade away. 

Whatever talents and skills you had become dormant. 

You are a shadow, busy with useless things. Oblivious to the important ones.

Sleep is a thing of the past, as the blue light illuminates your face until 2 or 3 or 4 am. 

Wake up. Rejoin the forces of the living. Limit your internet time, and try talking to real people. To their faces. Outside of Skype. 

Give someone a hug!

Remember that the tangible things are more important than anything you can find online. 

You are more than a Profile, username, and password.

So prove it.

.

A White Crayon

Two of my roommates have been talking in the kitchen for hours. 

Relationship stuff.

We've been here at college for the same amount of time, but both of them are leaps and bounds ahead of me in the social world.

One has a boyfriend and they've had their first kiss.

The other attracts handsome and talented musicians. Plural. 

But me, 

Usually I'm ok with this. 

But every now and then I get sick of it.

Just once, I want to be the girl a guy has a crush on.

Just once, I want to be that girl who walks into the room and brightens it.

Just once, I want someone to stay up late, thinking of me.

Just once, I want to be the one who gets asked on dates.

Just once, I want to be the one that makes him lose his train of thought.

Just once.

I'm sick of being the white crayon.

I look across the cardboard crayola box and feel totally alone.

 Everybody chooses the red crayon.

And when she gets used up, you can still chose the "Wild Strawberry" and "Scarlet" shades which are almost the same. 

Blue is a favorite, too. 

And there are a lot, just like her.

Red and blue have a lot of fun. 

But sometimes they get hurt.

They get worn down from use, and are returned to the box, blunted and broken.

The paper label is ripped or removed.

And you don't know what shade they are anymore.

Just red-ish. Blue-ish

The box came with 96 shades.

But where have they gone?

Missing, broken, lost. Their unique identity removed from the mix.
If a kid needs a red crayon and can't find the "true red," any shade will do.

And the white crayon waits. 

Her tip is untouched. Her label: crisp and clean.

Her color is pure, unmixed, and unique.

And some day she will be needed. 

No other color will do. No substitutions can be made...

Not when the paper is black.

And when that white crayon meets the black paper they will know that the wait was worth it.

All that time on the shelf, leading to this moment, was well spent. 

Because these two are perfectly matched.

And now, clean and whole, they are ready to commit to each other...

and make something beautiful.

It's the kind of thing that only happens "just once."
And it's the best thing there is.

I'm just holding out for some really nice black paper.