Phases

I know my "Stages of sickness." I go through the same thing every year. I'm not like Aria with this freaky fetish to get strep throat at a consistent season every year, but I go through nose/throat issues. It happens about once a year, and then I am done. I don't puke, I don't get fevers, I've never had a bloody nose, and I am normally a healthy, happy, and thoroughly uninteresting patient. With this small exception

The first phase: slight sore throat. Sweaty eyebrows. I am sure that the last statement seems ridiculous, but it is one of the warning signs that I rely upon the most, and it always happens.

Phase two: Sore throat. I hate this part. This is when my mom brings out the Chlorhexadine throat  medicine. When kids get sick, mom becomes a pharmacist. There is no limit to our supply of nasal medications.

Phase three: Throat is not as sore, but nose begins to run. The only upside to this stage is that, with a throat this rough-sounding, I can sing just like Adele. ;)

Phase four: Minimal throat issues, but strong nasal congestion. Now added to the list of medications are Benedryl, Flonase, sudaphed, claritine, airborne, and possibly Musinex. (If my mom's medicine cabinet could have a cryptic riddle attached, it would be "illness flees before it."  )

Phase five: Extreme nasal congestion. This is the phase when even I can tell I sound weird. I can go through an entire Kleenex box in a weekend.

Phase six: Lessened congestion, but now I have a cough. Great.

Phase seven. I have a well-developed cough.

Phase eight: My mom kills my cough with a medicinal arsenal of epic proportions.

Phase nine: Recovery. All better.

Phase ten: The end of a ridiculously long post about a tediously boring subject that is only interesting to me, myself, and I... and possibly some "health centers" somewhere around here. I really only posted this so that I could make my "Adele" joke when it was still kind of relevant.