Un-Valentines

I love holidays. ALL of them. Valentines day isn't excluded. People expect things, people feel lonely, but it's still a great holiday. Celebrate the love you feel. For family, friends, pets... yourself. Take it how you get it. Give what you can, don't expect anything in return.
Blah blah blah.
Ok. With that in mind, read this as a bit of fun. 

The Reluctant Lover:

"Roses have thorns,

Fairy-tales aren't true,

Prince Charming ran off,

 So I settled for you."

The Average Pet:

"Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I pooed in the lawn,

And left it for you."

The Hater:

"Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

If I had amnesia, 

I'd forget you."

The Perfect Girlfriend:
"The temple is white,

The Gospel is true,
If you go on a mission, 
I'll wait for you."

The Practical Girlfriend:
"Those two years were long,
I was lonely and blue, 
I found an RM,
And he's replaced you."

*The Loner:
"Roses are red,
I have a phone,
Nobody texts me.
Forever alone."

The Stalker:
"I saw you this morning,
And last night too.
If you'd be my Valentine,
I'd stop stalking you."
 
From the Friend-Zone
"I'm the one that you talk to.
The shoulder when you cry.
I know that I love you,
And my heart doesn't lie.  
I'm more than your friend,
And I wish you could see.
  We'd make a great couple.
Take a chance on me?"

*I didn't actually write this one. But the other ones are mine.