Momma, a rainbow

"What do you give to the lady who has given all her life and love to you?
What do you give to the reason you are living? I could window-shop the world before I'm through..."

I guess David has it easy. All you want for your birthday/Mother's day is for him to sing that song. Other than that? You buy some trinkets throughout the year, we choose stuff to give to you, and that's that. No surprises. You get what you want and we go through the motions of gift-giving.
It's a very economic and practical system.
But I'm a sappy sentimentalist, and this year at least, I think you deserve something more.
So please pardon my lame attempt to give you a small "something."

Gosh, I thought writing for Aria was hard.

The hardest part is that, for the majority of my life, I haven't really seen you as a person. You have always been, first and foremost, my mother.
You were the mother who firmly sent me over to swim team and synchro in the summer, no matter how much I protested.
You were the mother who fought for my 2012 Swim Letter long after I'd given up hope.
You were the mother who insisted that we had to do 5 jobs a day (at least during the summer) before we got to go out or play.
You were the mother who drove me around to work, school, concerts, friend's houses, and anywhere else I needed to go.
You were the mother who forced me to practice the piano.
You were the mother who organized rec classes (still not totally sure what that even stands for, but we're going with it) and "music-garten" classes (or was it kinder-music?).
You were the mother who didn't hear the phone ring at 4am when I called for a ride home from the Freshman trip to Magic Mountain. (I promise that I'll get over that... someday.)
You were the mother who would stand firm against the school district, always fighting to get what was best for her children.

You have always been (and always will be) my mother. I didn't know you were a person too, until:
You joined a choir. Just because you wanted to and you had the talent.
You got a solo
You talked to me about some of your secret fears and dreads.
Every once in a while... you lost it.
I see pictures of the past, or hear you recount a silly joke you played on a guy's dorm.

Eliza, Aria, Melissa, David and I are the "fruit of your loins, right?"
Well, in the scriptures, it says, "By their fruits ye shall know them."
By this definition, I can say that you are a high-achieving, hardworking, talented, thoughtful, intelligent, and courageous soul.

"All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother." -Abraham Lincoln

I love you.
Happy Birthday.
...and I guess that's it. I'll add photos later.

So I sort-of wrote out a super-condensed version of one of my stories this week...

Mother

Momma bear
On the move
There when you need her
Home is of her making
Early mornings and late nights
Role model.

Weddings and failure

Dear Future Me,

I can see how people hate weddings. It's not the wedding itself or the people involved... It's what planning the wedding does to the people involved. I never knew there were so many things you could disagree about. Envelope sizes and tie colors, the thousand tiny details... no one attending the wedding will ever notice or remember, but these are the things that haunt the wedding planners, creating tension and rifts.

Alayna, be kind. Be thoughtful. Be the first to assume the best in people and never take anything personally. Miscommunication is the common enemy of us all. Be patient. 

Take the time to talk about something else. Remember that the lives of everyone involved are important too, and you don't just stop caring about them because someone is getting married. It's healthy, therapeutic even, to talk about different, normal things. When you fight about stupid little things, it's also important to have quality communication to balance it out... no matter how small and insignificant your words may seem at the time.

It will all be alright.

And when the time comes? Don't be too busy to enjoy the moment you helped create.

-Alayna

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Dear Future Me,

Sometimes you work really hard at something, and it doesn't work out. Sometimes there is nothing you can do about it. So, honey, you're just going to have to live with it. I know how highly you think of yourself and that the two hardest words for you to piece together are "I" and "failed." But sometimes you have to face it, own up, and move on.

Yes, I failed. But life goes on (in endless song, above earth's lamentation...) and so must I. My favorite movie is Meet the Robinsons, and one of the greatest moments from this incredibly quotable movie is when one of the characters says, "From failure you learn. From success? Not so much." Sure, failure isn't my favorite teacher, but he's an effective one.

You just need to know that... it's ok. It happens to everyone and it's part of being human. It can be fixed. Maybe you can't do it alone, so don't hesitate to rely on the people around you who offer to help.

I failed. I am not perfect. I still have a lot to learn. And I am ok with all of these things.

There now, that wasn't so hard.
Hang in there, girl
Love,
Alayna