Learn to Look

My art teacher announced that we would be doing self portraits for the next project.
Gasps and moans.

LOTS of resistance. He passed out mirrors. People turned them around, flipped them over, looked away, and exclaimed at having to look at themselves. 

Some girls were frantically globing on cover-up and mascara. Others put their heads down and said they'd start the next day when they were more presentable. And they still haven't started.

One wonders how they make it out the door in the morning, or through the rest of the day.

Before we were set loose to start our project, he showed us a power-point of famous artist's self-portraits.

Albrecht Durer did a new self portrait every 3ish years, starting at the age of 13
              ... and looked almost the same in every one of them.
Except the last surviving one. Which was totally different.



There were several of Vincent Van Gogh,

 the last one clearly showing bandaged mess at the side of his head. 
I wondered,
   "If you are an amazing artist... why would you highlight your greatest defect? Why would you show off your mistake?"

  Others of them were, frankly, ridiculous.


  And disproportionate.

Why?

Most of the kids in my art class who actually brought themselves to begin the project thought like this.
"If I can draw an idealized version of myself, why don't I?"

  The mirrors are in front of them, but they don't dare to look. Instead you get the stereotypical eyes, the traditional noses, lips and chins proportioned to fit in the artist's idea of "good" or "pretty," but looking nothing like the person behind the pencil.

Why?

The masters who did their self portraits knew who they were. They drew what they saw... but also what they knew they were. Their styles, eccentricities, and thoughts are evident in the end product.

The kids in my art class can't help but cartoon-ize.
Making their eyes bigger because it's "cute."
Thinning out their necks and cheeks because they can't see themselves as "fat."
Drawing tiny noses and perfect eyebrows.


Never looking in the mirror.





They are afraid to look at themselves. They don't know what they are going to see, and they aren't comfortable in translating an honest view of themselves onto paper.

Like the kids in my Art class, we are afraid to see our faults. We compare ourselves with other, more perfect people.
We need to stop.

Embrace yourself for who you are... inside and out. You can't always change it. Accept it. If you haven't drawn the picture of yourself, others will do it for you. And then you won't like what you see. But you have nothing, no truth to compare it to. So it'll become truth.


I'm not suggesting you go all "Jane Eyre" with your portrait.

And you want to go slightly beyond "Mulan."

But take the time to stare. Ask yourself who you are... and find the answer.

  Learn to look, love what you see.